Thoughts and Words
by Raven Mockheart
Summary: Any and all OUAT drabbles I write will be posted here. Prompt responses, 5 sentence challenges, random plot bunnies... If I've written it and it's shorter than a full-length oneshot, it'll go here. Ratings may vary.
1. Tears

**Here is my first drabble for CS AU Week, even though it's not exactly CS and very much tear-inducing. ****WARNING: character death heavily implied!**

**I'm so, so sorry for this one...**

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She doesn't recognize the low keening noises that are being ripped from her throat, not unlike a dog's soft keening when it has been hurt past the point of no return.

She doesn't recognize the way her body shudders, or the way it seems to be impossible for tears to squeeze their ways out of her tightly shut eyes.

She doesn't recognize the way her mouth opens wide in a silent scream, then closes, no sounds coming out other than the low keening she barely realizes is hers.

Over the years, she's taught herself to always cry silently, with large teardrops dripping down her checks before collecting on her pillow while she lay meticulously still, hoping to all that was holy that that month's foster parents wouldn't notice, wouldn't hear her, wouldn't see the wet patches in the morning, wouldn't notice her red eyes. She's taught herself. But not like this. Never like this.

This is raw pain, this is fearsome grief, too great to be expressed, too great to be kept in, too great to be shared, too great to be borne alone.

So she reaches out a hand, barely aware of what she is doing, and clamps her hand around the first thing it reaches like a vice. She just needs to feel _grounded_, need to feel anchored to the earth, as if she'll disappear or float away if she doesn't connect with something _right this instant_.

'I know, love.'

He doesn't say it's all right, Emma notes, doesn't say it will be all right, because it is not and it will not be, not ever again, not with _him_ gone and _he's not coming back, I couldn't save him, my fault,_ my fault, _it's my fault_. She gasps in a much needed breath, hadn't noticed she'd stopped breathing due to the clenching of her heart in her chest, and finally, _finally_, the tears escape and she sobs like she's never sobbed before.

The pain is unbearable, but she must bear it. She must. For him. In his - in his memory. In Henry's memory.

She breaks, she shatters into a million little pieces, and she knows she won't ever be the same again.

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**I didn't particularly like the ending, but my inspiration suddenly stopped flowing (and honestly it was really about the description of the crying and I just had to give her a reason to (I'm so sorry**** that sounds terribly mean) and this is actually a description of the way I cry when I'm really, _really _sad so I hope it's okayish**))

**So that was my CS AU Week Day One submission and I hope it's okay!**

**Prompts are lovely and reviews even more so (if you combine the two you get a virtual chocolate chip cookie with extra chocolate and a Ruby on top (yum now I want one)).**


	2. Brownie Mix

**Short drabble for CS AU Week. This is a CS Future AU, and my Day Two. Fluffy and waaaaay less angsty than the Day One Drabble! I'm going to have to postphone the rest of the days, though. I'm away and wifiless for the weekend.**

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Two pairs of green eyes are staring straight at him, one pleading, on telling him _you got yourself into this mess, I'm not getting you out of _it, and he sighs. _Bloody hell._

'Fine then, you can turn off your puppy eyes now. But I'm not cleaning up the mess.'

'Thank you, Daddy!' Evie squeals, launching herself at him. Killian catches his five-year-old daughter (the years go by so fast when you're having fun, is she that old already? He'll be fending off potential sons-in-law in no time) in midair before lowering her to the ground again.

'Alright Eve, you go get the mix.' Emma's voice is full of love and laughter at their daughter's little display of affection, and the smile in her eyes makes Killian feel warm. 'Couldn't resist the eyes, huh?'

'Your daughter is a bloody minx, Swan. Have you taught her how to manipulate me?'

Emma scoffs. 'Please. She learned the puppy look from you.'

When Evie comes back with the brownie mix, Killian recalls the last time they did this. The chocolate had been all over the kitchen, and they had only had enough mix left to make three tiny brownies – Evie had smeared the rest in his hair.

Evangeline Jones races back into the kitchen, the brownie mix she's grabbed from a shelf in the basement clamped tightly in her tiny fists.

Her eyes glint positively devilishly, and Killian gulps.

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**Their daughter is named after Evangeline Lilly from ****_The Hobbit _****and ****_Lost_****, whose work and name I adore.**

**Reviews are food for my muse, who has been much too absent lately.**


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